Meeting In A Supermarket (Part 1)

Story 1
I can't believe after 10 years of being single I finally scored a date! God I look horrible... I think I should buy something to cover up all this acne... and oh my god what is wrong with my breath?!?! Too many late nights I guess... holy crap my breath smells like monkey feces. OH NO!!! It's only an hour left before I have to go meet my date!!! That's IT I am going to the supermarket to get some cheap stuff to help out... But I don't think have time for it... I REALLY need something to help out... AHH whatever I'm going... I can't kiss with crap breath now can I?


Story 2

I can't believe how homeless people can let themselves go!!! I mean if you're going to present yourself everyday in public you might as well dress up or put on some make up. And that breath! How can they even stand themselves? It is disgusting. I guess being a beautiful blonde really makes a difference in this city... I might as well dress up these ugly people. I mean look at this woman... all dirty and those old clothes... and what's even worse is the fact that she doesn't have any make up on!!!
NOW after all that make up I think she looks much better! She certainly looks a lot happier... but also kind of like a man... maybe I laid the stuff on a little too thick. Oh and that breath... thank goodness I have so many mints on me right now because that breath was completely the opposite of the happiness I was feeling. Now I think everybody in town should do the same and just beautify the city with these funny faced clown people!!! I'm so happy that I contributed so much to this city!!!